forthegothicheroine:

My ideal Star Wars movie would be a nature documentary of cute space critters narrated by the robot from Rogue One, who clearly knows nothing about nature and is making the descriptions up as he goes along.

rasec-wizzlbang:

jasjuliet:

respainey:

jollysunflora:

daxxglax:

asgardreid:

sinbadism:

bogleech:

You know, with all the language throughout Star Wars about “giving in” to the Dark Side, how the Dark Side makes you more powerful, how the Dark Side makes you age strangely and destroys you, it sure doesn’t sound like an “opposite side of the coin” so much as the “deeper end of the pool,” like it’s actually the true form of the force and being a Jedi is about keeping it tamed so it doesn’t eat you the way it actually wants.

the force is entropy

Eldritch Jedi pls

This is one of the reasons i love the second Knights of the Old Republic game, wherein one of the major characters (who defines herself neither as Jedi nor Sith) actually views the Force this way, saying  “I hate the Force. I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance, when countless lives are lost.”

It’s also the game that gave us the two most entropic, eldritch characters in the franchise: Darth Nihilus, whose dark-side-borne ability to feed on the Force and consume life itself has twisted him into a half-living “wound in the Force”, more presence than flesh

and Darth Sion, whose entire body is a ruin, his flesh nothing but ragged scar tissue, every bone and muscle broken and torn, kept animated by will alone as he forces himself, second by agonizing second, to exist

I wish there were more horrifying perspectives on the force like that

#the force is a horrorterror

This is one of the reasons the term “Light Side” never felt right to me, even before it was used in any official media; The Force always struck me more like an ocean than a binary concept: the deeper you go, the darker and more crushing it gets — at a certain point becoming an effectually consistent darkness — and while light filters down and fades for some distance, if there is a truly light “side” it’d be the surface.

Which isn’t to say “the Force is evil unless you flounder about near the top” — just that it’s a natural force, and as such is something you need to respect and be adequately prepared for. (Take electricity, for example: super awesome and pretty dang useful, but OH HOLY SMOKES don’t try and harness it unless you REALLY know what you’re doing!)

In this sense, being tempted by the Dark Side is less a case of “Hey, I wonder what’s on the other side of this coin it looks pretty cool haha oh whoops I’m Space Walter White now,” and more one of “The deeper into this thing you go, the harder you’ll need to fight to resist the ever-increasing pressure, to remain whole, even to just see whatever the heck you’re actually doing.”

(which is why Jedi training is so important: those padawans gotta build themselves a mental Deepsea Challenger!)

THIS META BLESSED ME

in the EU there are countless disciplines, philosophies, and usages of the force the movies never go into.

Like the force Witches of Dathomir who ride rancors

zawehzawah:

withthingsunreal:

that-vicious-vixen:

raptor–whisperer:

i’m not overly protective of star wars but when people say to watch the prequels first for story purposes I cringe because no no no you gotta watch it 4 5 6 1 2 3 okay

THANK YOU

actually

and I recognise this may be controversial

you gotta watch it 4 5 1 2 3 6

yeah read that again

I am saying you gotta watch the prequels after Empire

here’s why: 

• you get the backstory on Vader immediately after the ‘I am your father’ reveal
  
• you get to drag out the suspense of Han being frozen in carbonite
  
• you don’t immediately ruin the impact of Vader as a villain by starting out with what an awful whiner Anakin was
  
• you also don’t leave Return on the Jedi on a confusing note of ‘wait who the hell is that other ghost’ if you watch the original trilogy in its entirety before hitting the prequels
  
• you aren’t left feeling shitty by ending your marathon on Revenge of the Sith and instead get to close out with the potentially insipid but undoubtedly joyous celebration at the end of the Battle of Endor
  

basically if you’re going to include the prequels at all you need to incorporate them as a mid-story flashback

okay that’s all

i watched star wars for the first time in the 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6 order and let me tell you, imho, that is the absolute best way to get the story out of th emovies.

it makes return of the jedi that much more poignant and good and like spook says, doesn’t leave on your final marathon note being revenge of the goddamn sith 

No (Or: Anakin Skywalker in Ten Steps)

fialleril:

1. When he’s eight years old he decides that freedom means never having to say “Yes Master” or any variation thereof again.

2. Two days later, he starts counting. In one day, he says it 13 times. Kitster says he said it 16 times, and Anakin wonders if that’s worse, or just more of the same.

3. When the Jedi comes, Anakin calls him “sir.” He hates that word, too, but he’s learned the hard way that it’s safer. The Jedi doesn’t correct him.

4. Even so, for a few days after leaving Tatooine he almost believes he’s free. He’s off planet (and that’s where all the freed people go, isn’t it?), and in a starship, and he’s going to be a Jedi. He’s heard a lot of stories about the Jedi, but none of them say they’re slaves.

5. He was wrong, though. He has to call all the Jedi “Master,” and there are rules to follow, and they cut his hair and dress him and tell him where to go and how to behave and what to do. Master Obi-Wan tries to explain the difference, but he can’t see it, so he doesn’t understand.

He chafes, but never too much. He’s always known just how far he can push, and no further.

6. By the time he’s nineteen years old, and in love, he’s said “Yes Master” 22,753 times.

7. Padmé is upset that they have to hide their wedding, that it has to be private and unshareable. She pretends that it doesn’t bother her so much, and in return he pretends that it does bother him, too.

It doesn’t, though. On Tatooine, all slave marriages are like this. He’s always known he would get married this way.

8. He’s going to be a father, and he’s joyful and giddy and terrified. (He’s now said “Yes Master” 35,802 times.)

There’s a corner of his mind that repeats the old Tatooine law like a mantra. Children follow the mother. His child will be free.

9. There’s something to be said, he thinks, for choosing one’s own master. Or at least having the illusion of choice. He’s now said “Yes Master” 35,998 times, and as he kneels before Palpatine, he could almost believe this is what he’s always wanted.

10. Luke is twenty-four years old, whole, and beautiful, and he’s never said “Yes Master” in his life. Vader doesn’t know this empirically, of course, but he knows it all the same. The slave can always recognize the free man.

It’s not until Luke lifts away his mask and looks at him with desert blue eyes that Anakin realizes he’s said “No” for the very first time.

May the Fourth Be With You

breelandwalker:

Don’t forget to wear glitter, take your meds, and practice self-care in honor of our dear departed Space Mom.

Blessed Be She Who Drowned In Moonlight, Strangled By Her Own Bra

data-structures:

So I’m kinda late to the party with this, but Raven Software/Activision released the source code to Jedi Outcast and Jedi Knight Academy and some of the comments in the code are so fucking funny.

this one isn’t even a comment, but