tis-i-bat-anon:

redpandaloki:

witch-without-gender:

behind-blue-eyes:

serialreblogger:

UGH there is NOTHING more frustrating than trying to research ADHD, it’s all “do you interrupt people a lot? do you find it hard to sit still?” and “boys are twice as likely to have ADHD than girls” and “here’s how to deal with your ADHD child” and there’s nothing about adults, nothing about underdiagnosis in women, nothing about RSD, dyscalculia, sensory processing, emotional regulation

i am not a little boy pretending to be an airplane in the back of the classroom. I was never allowed to be, because I was a little girl. i was a little girl who couldn’t sit still but i had to because ladies sit still while the boys shout and fidget in the background. i was a little girl who got left behind when recess ended because i was so engrossed in my small rock garden i didn’t hear the bell; i was a little girl who grew up smart enough to take precalculus, but couldn’t for the life of me remember my times tables; i was a little girl who got so angry and didn’t know how to stop it (“you can control your emotions!” my dad told me; “don’t bottle it up,” my mom said; “scream into a pillow, write it down, take deep breaths” everyone told me, and none of it helped); i was a little girl who lay awake every night terrified i’d forgotten to do something due tomorrow; i was a little girl who couldn’t make friends because socializing was hell because if i made one wrong move, received one negative response, i might as well have set myself on fire; i was a little girl who took pride in being the Weird Girl, because i had to; i was a little girl with adhd 

and now i’m an adult woman with adhd, and i know that because of people on tumblr, not because of the DSM-V. The DSM-V and the CDC tell me little boys have ADHD, not little girls. they tell me if i don’t interrupt people (don’t interrupt people, that’s rude, being rude means hurt hurt hurt because of RSD and nice young ladies aren’t rude anyway) and finish assigned tasks (don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget if you forget they’ll hate you) i don’t have the inattentive component; and they tell me if i can sit still (what kind of organs do snails have, anyway? let’s research that for four hours) and avoid butting into people’s space (don’t be rude, don’t be RUDE) i don’t have the hyperactive component; and they only ever mean to talk to parents of little ADHD boys, and there is nothing, nothing, nothing meant for me.

Wow. I relate to this so much and the thought of it possibly being ADHD never even crossed my mind.

Just from my personal experience, I’ve found it much easier to get a diagnosis and be treated for mine. More and more health professionals are recognizing ADHD in AFAB (assigned female assign birth) people and adults. I’d highly recommend seeing a mental health professional to get assessed if you think it’s impacting your daily life in massively negative ways; getting help can be a life saver.

They also don’t talk about how girls with ADHD are much more likely to develop anxiety or how girls tend to fixate on hyper control to prevent “unladylike” behavior.

It took until college for me to get a definitive diagnosis of ADHD, and even then I second guess it. I can focus on video games for 18+ hours, with no breaks, not even for food. That’s not inattentive! Doesn’t matter if I can only focus on a few very specific games or that what’s really happening is hyper fixation. I can focus therefore no ADHD. My classmates comment on how surprised they are that I didn’t make a lot of noise in class from fidgeting? Everyone fidgets, still not ADHD. Literally feel like my brain is being crushed in a voice whenever I try to study or work? I just don’t have the discipline to get my work done, not ADHD. Want to start crying cause you can’t focus and what your learning/working on just does not make sense? Suck it up, still not ADHD.

“Everyone experiences those things”

Actually, no, they don’t. I’m not hyper fixating because I’m obsessed or addicted to something. My brain just decided THAT’S SOMETHING WE CAN FOCUS ON. Normal people don’t fail to get any work done for weeks or months at a time because it physically hurts your brain and things just WONT WORK. Normal people can get comfortable when sitting.

I was tested for ADHD as a little girl but it was decided I didn’t have it, so I learned to sit still. I learned not to talk in school. I didn’t fidget and I didn’t speak unless spoken to. I hyper fixated on reading and expanding my vocabulary in third grade I was reading books at an 8th grade level because of this, but I didn’t have ADHD, I was just smart. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what the weird language of math was. it was a foreign language I couldn’t understand. but that was just me not trying hard enough. when I drove myself to tears trying to figure out one problem and being unable to move on to the next until k got this one right it wasn’t ADHD, it was me being childish and procrastinating my work. me not turning in half done work because it wasn’t finished so I couldn’t because it wasn’t done and it needed to be done to get turned in, was me being irresponsible and not caring about my grades when I cared so much it stressed me out in the fourth grade.

I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was seventeen years old. I was almost done with school by then. but that didn’t matter. we got me on meds, but they made me so sick I couldn’t eat anything and I was almost a zombie, no emotions to even struggle to regulate. (which when I had issues with that I was just “over emotional” and “a crybaby”) so we got me on new meds, and I think they worked. I couldn’t tell. I didn’t feel any different. I still hyper fixated on english and reading only now it’s fantasy and fiction because the world I see is too bleak and rattled with horrible things that my mind of anxiety, depression, and ADHD can barely handle.

now I’m twenty and off all medication and not being out back on because “it’s all in your head”. I’m twenty and just learning that the sinking feeling and tightness in my chest when I even THINK I’ve made someone close to my heart remotely upset is something that comes with ADHD that I wasn’t told about.

nobody tells you how much it actually sucks to deal with ADHD, and how its different for literally every single person with it. because while I may suffer from auditory processing (“huh?” “oh wait, *answers question/continues conversation in the middle of the person repeating*”/ “wait what? my brain said no to that-”), someone else may not, they may be able to process things perfectly but have some other issue with I don’t have.

gabby-gatsby:

I did not know that the compulsion to finish people’s sentences was an ADHD thing - like damn son I’ve been experiencing that since I was a wee idiot

prettysicksupply:

adoring-suggestion:

The adhd modes of food

1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck

2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine

3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart

4. Mac And Cheese

5. You got engrossed in a project, suddenly you feel like you’re going to die, or faint, or both? Oh. you’re hungry.

6. You’re hungry.  But every food you can think of sounds disgusting.  Time for your 15th day of lunchables for breakfast in a row.

chedzee1:

oldearthaccretionist:

earlgraytay:

staticandlove:

earlgraytay:

i’ll probably expand on this later, but the best ADHD Hack ™ I’ve found/sussed out is: 

bundle habits together, but don’t bundle tasks together.

Explain …

So okay. When you have ADHD, one thing your brain is very very good at doing is making connections between things- ideas, concepts, people, states of mind, etc. This can be a superpower- if most people wouldn’t think to make a connection between doing a) and b), and you make that connection, sometimes you can outthink people who aren’t as good at snapping things together.

The problem comes in when you start connecting things that you don’t need to connect, like “mild displeasure” with “OH GOD EVERYONE HATES ME” or “I feel a little crummy” with “I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD”.

So when we’re talking about Life Skills/ADLs, you gotta use that power to make your life easier, not harder. You gotta connect things when it makes your life better and NOT do it when it makes your life harder. 

Here’s an example of the habits: 

I had a stretch of time where I was too sick to do much of anything. I could barely get out of bed to get to the bathroom. I was walking with a stick and generally just… le dead. And one of the problems I had was that I could almost never remember to take my morning meds. 

I decided that the first time I got up to use the bathroom every day, I’d take my meds. That way I was taking them no matter how crap I felt- I had to get up to pee, like it or not- and it was getting done pretty early in the morning. 

Getting up to pee meant taking my meds; they were the same thing. I didn’t have to remember to take my meds separately, or set an alarm to remind myself, or anything like that. I just did it as part of something I had to do anyway.

As time went on and I started getting better, I realized I could do the same thing with other parts of my routine. If you connect something you need to do with something you have to do, the thing you need to do gets done.

So like… say I’m already in the habit of getting up to take a shower. I’ve lived in crappy apartments my entire life, so the water takes a minute to warm up. Since my countertop dishwasher is right outside my bathroom door, I’ll take a second to empty and load the dishwasher while the water’s still heating up. It just becomes part of the routine of taking a shower. 

You don’t have to think about Doing The Extra Thing. Connecting it to something you’re already doing means that, after a certain point, it just… happens, automatically.

 The problem comes in when you start trying to do this with tasks- things that you only have to get done once, that already have a fair few steps to them. Especially if that task is has a lot of steps, has a time limit, or is otherwise Hard for you. 

Figuring out tasks with dependencies (I have to do this before I can do this!) is already hard for us ADHDers. Sometimes what happens is that you bundle two tasks together- you decide you can’t do something until you’ve done the other thing, even though these tasks are in no way connected. 

Here’s an example: 

I have three packages I need to mail. One of them is a gift for a friend in Australia, which costs a lot of money; one of them is a package for my Etsy store which is Not Finished Yet, and one is a very late Christmas package. 

I might decide, “hey, I need to mail all three of these packages together! I can’t mail any of these packages until I bundle all of them!” But it’s probably smarter to mail them separately! I don’t want to make my friend with the late Christmas package wait any more, so I can mail that first, and then mail the Australia package when I have the money and the Etsy package when it’s finished. 

But if I insist that I have to bundle these tasks… I won’t get any of them done. I’ll be too stressed out about the Etsy package not being done to mail the other two packages, and then I will run out of money for the Australia package, and the Christmas package will not get sent til Labour Day.

If you’re stressed out about a task with a lot of steps, sometimes it’s worth it to check and make sure you’re not bundling multiple tasks together. Can you do the thing without doing the thing that comes before? Do you have to do the other thing immediately after? 

Oh… oh… shit

(I’ve accidentally stumbled into doing the habit bundling for some things… but I didn’t even conceive if this to think of how I’ve been task bundling in ways that make it impossible for me to get some things done… shit)

Side note: Make sure you aren’t making non-critical habits restrictive! I’ve missed class three times this semester because I was running late to make coffee and started freaking out over leaving too late or getting out the door without coffee.

cap2dyke:

this felt important enough to share

sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012:

sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012:

adhd is so funny it’s like being possessed but with myself

the demon that controls my body says we have to watch bob burgers for five hours today and that demon is me

adhd-alien:

I could never figure out why I’m so lazy - but also always exhausted. I always try to make things right, just to get them wrong all over again. This is one of the things that really make me question myself.

prettysicksupply:

adoring-suggestion:

The adhd modes of food

1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck

2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine

3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart

4. Mac And Cheese

5. You got engrossed in a project, suddenly you feel like you’re going to die, or faint, or both? Oh. you’re hungry.

6. You’re hungry.  But every food you can think of sounds disgusting.  Time for your 15th day of lunchables for breakfast in a row.

adhd-informative:

screaming-coelacanth:

screaming-coelacanth:

ADHD is cool because my inability to choose between two cereals made me almost cry in a grocery store

alright so this is a pretty simple statement, as in there’s not a lot said, it’s not three words, so I’m gonna try and make my reply as short as possible.

So, I have ADHD, and a part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation. It’s really difficult for me to regulate my emotions/my emotional reactions, in other words. 

When I can’t choose between two types of cereals, it stresses me out and, unlike neurotypical people, I am unable to stop that stress from snowballing into anxiety, panic, and a general sense of dread. It’s a weird response, for sure, but it’s my response, and it’s how my ADHD manifests. 

It’s not the poster-child of ADHD, it’s not a situation people will point to and say, “That is typical ADHD behavior,” but, y’know, that’s okay. It’s my ADHD behavior, and I define it that way because I know my ADHD and I know how it affects me. 

Indecisiveness is a common problem for people with ADHD. Obviously each ADHDer has their own unique experience of the disorder, but this struggle isn’t unrelated to the disorder and clearly it resonates with a lot of us. And that makes perfect sense. Let’s think about it.

Impulsiveness: You might think this symptom would make it easy to make an instant decision but when you are confronted with a ton of options it actually it can be much more like realizing you want a bunch of different things and now it’s harder to pick just one. Wow that option looks exciting I really like the sound of that… But this is an old favorite of mine and I’ll miss it if I go with something else… And I’ve always wanted to try that thing will I regret it if I don’t?… I want so many things but I must choose only one and now I’m confused

Hyperfixation: ADHD is largely due to an inability to regulate focus. Which means we can also get really focused on something for a prolonged period of time. Such as the pros and cons of several options. The chicken is good but I had chicken for lunch, pasta could be good if they hold the capers, I haven’t had chili in a long time but I don’t know whether it would be really spicy here or not. On and on and on. Well past when others are done we still are thinking through every little thing.

Difficulty Planning: Without time blindness and with the ability to more readily form a long term plan someone who does not have ADHD may feel confident in deciding one thing in relation to others, reasoning that this falls in line with their long-term goals or for smaller day-to-day choices deciding that next week they’ll get the other option. ADHDers often live more in the moment, but we are aware of the future. It’s What do I want most now?… I want to go with what makes me happy, but what about the most practical option? What is the truly best option for me and how do I even tell? Thinking this through doesn’t come as naturally to me.

Low Self-Esteem & Self-Doubt: ADHDers almost universally have issues with their self-image from years of being judged for being different than everybody else. Naturally we begin to doubt ourselves and thus our choices. And many of us cope by trying to pretend we don’t care or by trying way too hard to please someone else, or both. This leads us to trouble choosing too. I’m so worried I’ll make the wrong choice and ruin everything like I always seem to do. I don’t trust myself so how can I make a decision?... What makes the most sense in order to fit in with the culture? I have trouble figuring this out sometimes. Will I look silly if I do what I love?… I want to make everyone else happy, everyone has their own preferences, but deep down I want something totally different. I’ve got to make sure everyone is pleased with me I hate being a disappointment. I’ve got to make the absolute best choices for everyone on everything. I’m stuck because it’s nearly impossible. And what about that thing I like just this once, but no. Or maybe. Well I guess everyone likes this generic thing. Wait no, Dave said he thought it was gross. Ahh! This choice reflects on me and I must make sure it is excellent.

All of that is plenty stressful without having to deal with emotional dysregulation and low stress tolerance. But ADHDers frequently deal with those symptoms as well.

Emotional Dysregulation & Low Stress Tolerance: The pressure of a situation where you know a choice must be made can be a lot. And after a long day, or in a stressful environment like a bright store or crowded restaurant, or in front of people that you like and want to think highly of you, or for a whole host of other reasons you can end up feeling all !!!!